Archive for the 'Three Stars of the Newscycle' Category
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 9.25.06
Monday, September 25th, 2006This is just one of those days when you really kind of feel like the weekend news is enough to tide you over until Tuesday, right? I mean like really hold you over. Because the pickens are slim otherwise. Like “Work Makes Freedom” skinny.
Here’s what we got…
• Oprah starts her own channel on XM Satellite […]
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 9.21.06
Thursday, September 21st, 2006Today’s number is three.
Comedy jokes come in threes.
So do triplets.
There were more than three things I didn’t like about Jericho last night.
I wish Chris Jericho was on Jericho. That would make the show better.
I think Chris Jericho won the world title three times.
I may be wrong.
Yeah, I think I am.
News happened…
• A 3 year old […]
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 9.20.06
Wednesday, September 20th, 2006It’s a local kind of Wednesday and so we are digging on some local kind of coverage. This week, we head down to the lush foliage of sunny South Florida where the Sun-Sentinel slathers scintillating coverage Sunday through Saturday.
Yeah, that was lame. Here is what the alcoholics, failures and other boat owners that make up […]
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 9.19.06
Tuesday, September 19th, 2006Site notice: REMEMBER, send in your Shittiest Ledes of the Week (I changed the name) to Justin@MediaBitchfest.com and it will make tomorrow’s edition. So far we have a couple of real doozies lined up but like the Haunted Mansion, there’s always room for one more.
Oh, and some assholes futzed around and made news today:
•
GOP: You […]
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 9.18.06
Monday, September 18th, 2006Listen, I’m sorry. The Steelers are on Monday Night Football so this will be quick. Real quick. Quick like a motherfucker.
I have nothing.
• Ladies in space?
• Narrowly dead Somlian President?
• All you need to know about the big game?
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 9.14.06
Thursday, September 14th, 2006This country gets quite a reputation for violence, but you know shit happens in other places too. So get on your high horse Rest of World, sure, lampoon us as shoot-first cowboys with queer puritanical values and a tendency to look down Mexico’s shirt.
For today at least, you don’t look so hot yourself.
• Montreal murderer […]
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 9.13.06
Wednesday, September 13th, 2006Remember when I kept bitching about how slow the news was during the summer? Well it isn’t any more, so now I am going to celebrate.
(Justin distributes party favors to his 15 readers)
Okay, now who wants to hear about the mother of a kidnapped baby (fyi: she prolly did it) shooting herself in the head […]
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 9.12.06
Tuesday, September 12th, 2006Steve Jobs opened his mouth today so it’s time for us to pry apart our eager beaks and swallow the delicious nutrition he pours forth. Mmmmmm, what’s in there this time? Well, it turns out he’s struck a tremendous deal with himself at Disney to bring all of that company’s flicks onto the iPod. The […]
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 9.11.06
Monday, September 11th, 2006You know that point in a series of movies where the bad guy is defeated and is banished or has to go to prison or something. Then in like the third or fourth movie he comes back, but is seemingly reformed. He says all the right things and makes all the right moves, he doesn’t […]
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 9.7.06
Thursday, September 7th, 2006The Steelers are back! And they are playing the Dolphins! I wish someone would write a funny column about it. Oh wait, I did. You can find it here at the incomparable Alec’s SteelerBlog.
Oh, and news happened…
• New evidence suggests a link between Osama and 9/11.
• Cindy Sheehan wants to time travel (so she can […]
Archives:
Critical Acclaim:
— Tom Scocca, New York Observer
— J. Michael Robertson, Media Studies Department, University of San Francisco
— Shelly Smith, Comedienne of The Brothel
— Will Leitch, Deadspin.com
— mute_everything, MBF Commenter
