Apple Lords Over All
January 11th, 2007 by Justin
I don’t need to say it, everybody knows it. The iPhone is the answer to all of your problems.
The iPhone lets you watch your television shows on a gorgeous little screen. The iPhone lets you listen to your music with a pretty little browsing system. The iPhone allows you to conference call with two touches of a button. The iPhone will increase your troop deployment in the Anbar province by 15%. The iPhone comes pre-loaded with Al Gore’s phone number.
The iPhone knows where you are. The iPhone is not jealous, because it knows exactly what you’re doing. The iPhone can’t be made angry, go ahead, try. The iPhone thought so.
The iPhone revolutionizes mobile web browsing. The iPhone allows you to turn the screen and view your rich text’d websites in landscape or portrait mode. The iPhone will show you this picture when you’re feeling blue. The iPhone saw a smile, now who wants some ice cream?
True story, I got an email yesterday about the MBF EXCLUSIVE: MUST CREDIT MBF wedding of my friends Katie and Shown which will take place this July in Syracuse. The first thought that went through my mind was, oh good, I can just work on the road with my iPhone.
The iPhone never apologizes.
One Response to “Apple Lords Over All”
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Critical Acclaim:
— Tom Scocca, New York Observer
— J. Michael Robertson, Media Studies Department, University of San Francisco
— Shelly Smith, Comedienne of The Brothel
— Will Leitch, Deadspin.com
— mute_everything, MBF Commenter
Katie wrote on 01/11/07 at 11:37 am :
See, my first thought was you were going to say: “Oh, good, I can buy one for Katie and Shawn.”
Maybe when it goes on sale 10 years from now.