World News Weekly 1.5.07

January 5th, 2007 by Justin

In an uncertain world of turmoil and strife, whom can we turn to for a summery of happenings from this, our global village? The answer is Shaun Barnes, his column begins now…

Welcome to the twenty-first century, Iraq. The death of ex-dictator-in-chief Saddam Hussein was bound to be controversial, but what no one counted on was that a mobile phone camera would be on hand to capture all the details of the sloppy execution of…well…the execution.

Footage of Hussein’s death, complete with audio revealing last minute verbal sparring between the audience and the condemned, quickly found it way to the Internet from whence it was displayed to the world. The grainy footage has been roundly criticized for its impropriety in violating the privacy of Saddam’s last moments. On the bright side, Saddam didn’t even have to scream the n-word to have a hit viral video. The Arab press is typically restrained in its approach, viewing the footage merely as evidence of a massive Shia-U.S. conspiracy to “murder” Saddam.

I must ask, is it really so outrageous that someone told Hussein to “go to hell” just before he hanged? By Iraqi standards, this hardly meets the threshold for cruel and unusual punishment (you have to have at least two limbs bathed in acid before you hit that mark). Sure the new government fucked up, but at least they got the job done, which is more than they can say for rubbish collection. In the story’s most recent twist, Iraqi police have supposedly nabbed the mysterious cameraman. His identity has yet to be released, but my money is on that Time Magazine person of the year. This fits his M.O. to a tee.

News and Notes

• Bust out the keg and the gas centrifuge, Ahmadinejad is throwing a uranium enrichment party! w00t! w00t!

• NATO’s new year’s resolutions:
1. Loose some weight
2. Integrate post-Soviet Eastern European states
3. Stop killing so many Afghan civilians
4. Cut back to one pack of smokes a day

• US official claims Iranians are “up to no good” in Iraq; plans to put van full of motivated teenagers and their dog on the case.

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