Media Bitchfest

Gobble Gobble, You’re Awful At Your Job

November 22nd, 2006 by Justin

Worst Lede of the Week is back! Oh lord, do we have a doozy for you. We have not just one, but two ledes. Which will win? You decide!

Only you can decide which anonymous anonymous donor will receive the new Media Bitchfest prize. So let’s get down to business.

LEDE #1

Airboats, grid search used in manhunt
by SEAN I. MILLS
Staff writer

There was a “grid search” on land, an airboat search on the waters of the Mohawk River today, and a helicopter in the sky, as the search for a murder suspect intensified. But Scott Herman has still not been found. Is there a chance he may have committed suicide? Drowned? Died of exposure? Or is he hiding out somewhere in the woods or in a garage, barn or shed? Did he hitch a ride with someone? Or find a friend who is sheltering him? Those and other possibilities continue to be investigated by authorities

By the way, I didn’t forget to copy a punctuation mark in the end. Seriously.

LEDE #2

Early on, reformers have Spitzer’s ear
By Yancey Roy

News flash: Governor-elect Eliot Spitzer meets with reformers — before pols!

Sub-head: Democratic delayer 20 minutes late to meet new chief.

What’s going on here? Spitzer made his first trip to the State Capitol this week since posting a record victory on Election Day.

VOTE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION, HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Posted in Worst Lede Of The Week

10 Responses to “Gobble Gobble, You’re Awful At Your Job”

1. Rachel wrote on 11/22/06 at 8:16 am :

   I like Yanceys name better, but I think Sean has this one

   Maybe he was drunk

2. copykatie wrote on 11/22/06 at 9:18 am :

   I vote Yancey. He wins for badness, while Sean gets honorable mention for hilarity.

3. cousin jon wrote on 11/22/06 at 10:13 am :

   Malarky, constrict anus used in manhunt
   by SEAN I. MILLS
   Staff writer

   How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?

   I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make love three times in succession without drawing out

4. Noralil Ryan Fores wrote on 11/22/06 at 12:44 pm :

   Gotta go with the Milly on this one. He’s in outer f-ing space, and beyond hating it, I sort of love it-which means I actually hate it, but love it too which means suicide? exposure? shed? hitch? shelter? All of them in one.

5. Walsh wrote on 11/28/06 at 2:04 pm :

   Mills wins this one hands down. I’d like to throw him out in the wilderness to die of exposure for writing this horrific piece of “journalism.”

6. Media Bitchfest » Blog Archive » Worst Lede Of The Week- 11.29.06 wrote on 11/29/06 at 8:14 am :

   […] Also, we have a winner from last week’s Thanksgiving vote off. Making a furious comeback was Sean I. Mills who strung a few votes together at the end to take the grand prize. The person who submitted that delightful example of why newspapers are slowly seizing on their own vomit will not only receive our glowing endorsement and complete appreciation but also the brand new MBF magnet (pictured ABOVE), maximized for clandestine propaganda possibilities. Stick it on a communal work fridge or on the computer tower of a particularly worthless writer. The sky is the limit. […]

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