A Quick Note On The Professional Considerations Undertaken While Interviewing Rich Junkies
November 9th, 2006 by Justin
First rule, be ready for anything. Do you go up to a poor junkie, ask him all sorts of personal questions and expect them not to stab you with an AIDS needle? For these people, literally any response is a fair and honest, specifically if you are requesting to sniff his fingers for Kate Moss stank.
Second rule, always stand between the rich junkie and his outrageous mode of transportation. This rule takes courage, but it must be adhered for a successful interview. Be it Steve Balmer and his Segway or DMX and his Quad Off-Road Motorcycle, one must master the art of strafing until the last question has been posed. Quick tip, anticipate the junkies next move by following their eyes.
Third rule, if you are attacked by a rich junkie you have no one to blame but yourself. Do game hunters sue the heard of elephants that trample them? This is the code you have chosen to live your life by, if for some reason you can not longer handle the responsibility of tracking down marginally talented, ego maniacal, methamphetamine fueled malcontents and ask them if they’ve cockhammered their ex-girlfriends in the last 24 hours, you owe it to yourself and your profession to resign immediately.
Why don’t you just call their “publicist.” Pussies.
• Pete Doherty Fined For Assualting Journalist [FoxNews]
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