Media Bitchfest

How About You Lash Laroux? Think You Can Keep Your Spurs From Jingling and Jangling?

September 8th, 2006 by Justin

To recap:

ABC is doing a funny little two part movie about (orchestral swell) The Road to 9/11. In said movie there is widespread government dickstepping. Since the movie starts with the first Worth Trade Center bombing the president during the majority of this flick is William Jefferson Clinton. Therefore, people in the Clinton administration are shown mishandling the terror threat, the man himself and the people around him are shown to be more focused on deflecting the Lewinsky scandal and his former National Security Advisor Sandy Berger is kind of portrayed as a fussy little girl.

As the air date draws closer, we have a freaky Friday situation on our hands. For a change it’s the Left that wants something off the air, like, yesterday. Clintonistas contend that the negative portions of the movie are completely fabricated (the creative team agrees that the accounts are fictionalized, but retained a 9/11 Councilmember as a consultant who stamped the final product accurate) and the impartial arbiters of truth and fact over at Salon call the project:

The Path to 9/11 is a false version of history that popularizes right-wing myths by exaggerating Clinton’s failures and Bush’s successes

Right… well MBF takes the same stance on this that we did with Steve Spielberg’s Munich last year. It is fiction based on real life, the movie stars a New Kid On The Block as a heroic CIA agent. Someone had to study for the role of Sandy fucking Berger, give it up. It is silly to believe that in a summer, George W. Bush did as much to neglect the terrorist threat as Clinton did in 8 years, I’m sorry; you would need a time machine to be that destructive. Or at least pull the same trick that Bill and Ted used to do where they would say that after everything was over they would go back into the past and change things so they would be done in the present by them just thinking of it. Or something.

Lost in this whole mess is one clarion fact, Harvey Keitel is in this movie. Winston fucking Wolf is in this movie as a FBI counterterrorism expert. This completely shatters the reality for me, because if you mean to say that if The Wolf was employed by the federal government he couldn’t have foiled the 9/11 plot, then I would rather not watch. Imagine him striding into Bureau HQ dressed to the nines, politely asking for a cup of coffee and then dressing down a few of the top brass:

The Wolf: Get it straight buster - I’m not here to say please, I’m here to tell you what to do and if self-preservation is an instinct you possess you’d better fucking do it and do it quick! I’m here to help - if my help’s not appreciated then lotsa luck, gentlemen.
Director of the fucking FBI: No, Mr. Wolf, it ain’t like that…
Another really important figure who is not nearly as cool as The Wolf: I don’t mean any disrespect, I just don’t like people barking orders at me.
The Wolf: If I’m curt with you it’s because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please… with sugar on top. Stop the international terrorism conspiracy.

I would be pissed if I was Sandy Berger and Harvey Keitel didn’t play me too.

• The NYT review [NYT]

• Pulp Fiction Quote Page [imdb]

Posted in Terror

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