Three Stars of the Newscycle: 8.31.06
August 31st, 2006 by Justin
So the MTV Video Music Awards are tonight, the spectacle replete with overproduced pop spank dance numbers and enough blow-inspired burnt nose flesh to create the unmistakable must and low grade haze which annually envelopes Midtown, Lower Manhattan and (dependant on wind velocity) certain shore ports of Jersey City.
Tonight will mark the first time I will miss the event, as I will be en route to my spiritual homeland of Syracuse, New York with my friend, confidant and Earth’s Last Hope Eric “Snowflake” Grymkowski. For the record I hope host Jack Black plugs his upcoming Tenacious D movie by engaging in a rock-a-long with his TD partner Kyle Gass, I hope that band with the treadmill video all fall off their treadmills while performing the song with the video where they are all on the treadmills but then they all get up because it was another elaborately choreographed part of the dance and I REALLY hope that Beyonce’s left boob and Jessica Alba’s right boob melt together like love bugs on a June eve.
I also hope this video (in which the Jessica Simpson stand-in is none other than MBF pally Noelle) wins.
• Hillary Clinton thinks A woman would be good for president. Not necessarily ANY ONE woman in particular. Get it? Tee hee.
• Fallout from the CNN Pee Pee story turns into a game of Who’s The Shrew.
• How about you just tell us when Iran is not defiant over the nuclear program, huh?
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Critical Acclaim:
— Tom Scocca, New York Observer
— J. Michael Robertson, Media Studies Department, University of San Francisco
— Shelly Smith, Comedienne of The Brothel
— Will Leitch, Deadspin.com
— mute_everything, MBF Commenter
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