Media Bitchfest

So Who Plays The Daniel Stern Role?

August 25th, 2006 by Justin

Time reveals this morning that the kidnapping of a FoxNews reporter and freelance cameraman (you know, the one nobody is talking about) is pretty much the 1996 basketball fanatic/false imprisonment farce Celtic Pride.

You remember, a couple of rabid Celtic fans decide to kidnap a vainglorious, yet supremely talented, Utah Jazz forward until after a playoff game. Of course, once they have their prize under wraps they have little idea what to do with him and quickly realize that the organization they are risking house and home to help, disapproves of their illegal actions. It’s the kind of rib-tickling comedy that makes you want to rub your bored blind date’s shoulders and, mid chuckle, whisper things like “who hasn’t been there.”

So as it happens, these fellows have. This completely fabricated “terrorist group” turns out to be a pack of out-of-work former Arafat loyalist yahoos who thought nabbing some journos would be a fun time. You can almost hear the low groan emanating while their mothers pull them back home by their ears while admonishing, “If Hezbollah jumped off a bridge would you do that too?”

Predictably, they have realized that this negotiation stuff is hard work and Palestinian PM Mahmoud Abbas just peace’d out to Jordan because he wants no part of the shenanigans. Time says that their initial demands for the release of unspecified Muslim prisoners from US jails is just a stall tactic. Personally, I would have went with naked pictures of Bea Arthur and a Raiders helmet filled with cottage cheese, but that would have been a reference to a different movie.

By the way, did you know that Celtic Pride was written by Colin Quinn and current super-writer/producer Judd Apatow. Me either.

• Fuck man, what now? [Time]

• Judd Apatow: The Resume [imdb]

Posted in Celtic Pride, Judd Apatow, Terrorism

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