The Way We Were
August 24th, 2006 by Justin
1997 was a simple time, we made simple movies, laughed at simple jokes. We lived simple lives unblemished by the sinewy specter of terrorism’s boner looming over our heads. Planes could be boarded up to five minutes after it took off and airport security could be bypassed by doing a cartwheel through a metal detector. I like to picture a newly sleeper cell’d Mohammed Atta stifling laughter as he flipped through the channels on his battered motel television. As his head slowly shook he would think flippant thoughts, “Oh Mr. Bundy, Peg is going to discover your ruse” and “Is Jugs magazine real?”
But we live in different days now, and thanks to fingerbangers like Mo Atta, even the height of late 90s comedy can be turned against us. Here is a classic scene from a real laffer, with changes made to reflect our current climate:
Quartermaster Clerk: One Swedish-made (bomb).
Austin Powers: [to Vanessa] That’s not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk: One credit card receipt for Swedish-made (bomb) signed by Austin Powers.
Austin Powers: I’m telling ya baby, that’s not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk: One warranty card for Swedish-made (bomb), filled out by Austin Powers.
Austin Powers: I don’t even know what this is! This sort of thing ain’t my bag, baby.
Quartermaster Clerk: One book, “Swedish-made (bombs) And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby”, by Austin Powers.
• Oh Behave; Man Tell Airport Security Penis Pump Is A Bomb [Chi Sun-Times]
4 Responses to “The Way We Were”
Leave a Reply
Archives:
Critical Acclaim:
— Tom Scocca, New York Observer
— J. Michael Robertson, Media Studies Department, University of San Francisco
— Shelly Smith, Comedienne of The Brothel
— Will Leitch, Deadspin.com
— mute_everything, MBF Commenter
kati wrote on 08/24/06 at 1:13 pm :
hahahahhahahha
that was almost too easy for you justin, but way to funny to even think about it
Cheap phentermine no prescription. wrote on 12/19/07 at 4:41 am :
No prescription phentermine….
Phentermine with out prescription. Phentermine no prescription….
Ambien cr and weight loss. wrote on 12/19/07 at 7:39 am :
Ambien cr color….
Ambien cr effects. Ambien cr….
Child life insurance. wrote on 12/19/07 at 10:36 am :
Child life insurance….
Child life insurance….