Media Bitchfest

UPDATE: Topher Might Be A Big Telling Tall Tales

August 17th, 2006 by Justin

Ash Graf commented on the last post:

Why do pedophiles always have to look like pedophiles?

Well what if this pedophile didn’t look like pedophile so much as a big fat fibber?

In fact, you hear that grumbling? That low hum from the bowls of the Earth is this whole John Karr ruse about to explode in the collective face of America. Matthew Drudge hedged his bets with a “COLD BLOODED KILLER OR LYING FREAK?” headline earlier today, but removed it when it was deemed ‘too catty.’ We already have word from the CBKorLF’s ex-wife that he was in Alabama at the time of the murders which, Media Bitchfest can now reveal, is separated by 3 to 4 states from Colorado.

There is also this hilarious little tidbit from a local television station’s legal analyst:

“In this particular case when you have an uncorroborated confession, I think it’s good to be cynical and to be skeptical,” Robinson said. “The suspect seems to be ducking questions about his connection to the Ramsey family. how the little girl came to be in the basement with him in the first place.”

Robinson believes one thing is clear, however. This is the biggest development in the case so far.

“This is either the break that we have all been waiting for, or the biggest hoax that’s ever been perpetrated in the JonBenet Ramsey case, a case that has had its share of wacky people involved in it.”

Yeah, what a real wacky cast of characters we have had in these ten years, it’s like a regular Christopher Guest movie. I would say Parker Posey plays JonBene, Fred Willard and Jane Lynch are the parents and the role of John Karr easily goes to Harry Shearer.

The one thing that really strikes me as odd is that this investigation started when Karr sent emails to a local professor with information about the case that according to the fuzz, “has never been released publicly.” Seriously, that’s it. They are standing the validity of an investigation against the idea that everyone who ever handled any of the most sensitive information in this case has NEVER said anything to anyone in TEN YEARS. We’re talking bar stool confessions, message boards, ex-girlfriends, dying relatives, blurting something out during the climax of an above average massage parlor happy ending, doctor-patient confidentiality, anything. You are sure that none of this classified info might have made the rounds just a little bit, enough at least for an obsessive weirdo to get his sweaty little needle fingers on it.

At this point, in a come from behind victory (no pun intended [honk honk]), it’s Cold Blooded Killer: 10, Lying Freak: 14.

• Just go to Drudge, he’s all over it [Drudge]

Posted in John Karr, Liar

4 Responses to “UPDATE: Topher Might Be A Big Telling Tall Tales”

1. Walsh wrote on 08/17/06 at 10:22 pm :

   I would totally watch that movie, but only if Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara reprised A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow.

2. Ashleigh wrote on 08/17/06 at 11:32 pm :

   I am with you. I watched that dude in the press conference (news conference if I am following AP style) and the whole time was like, uh yeah, liar.
   Dudes who actually do shit like that, they don’t sit there and answer questions. They hide under their coats so no one can see that they look like a pedophile.
   This dude so totally is full of it. And crazy. Furshur.
   At least, that is my humble, never-able-to-believe-a-damn-thing-unless-I-witness-it self saying so.

3. Media Bitchfest » Blog Archive » That Is Not How We Do Business Here wrote on 08/18/06 at 7:42 am :

   […] Besides, by this time next week, ol’ high water pants is going to be revealed as a fraud and everyone who rushed to heal the wounds with the parents are going to have to pick that wound again. […]

4. Media Bitchfest » Blog Archive » TOLD YOU SO wrote on 08/28/06 at 3:29 pm :

   […] Yup, it was just me. No one else. Nobody saw this coming except for ME BABY, ME! […]

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