Media Bitchfest

Three Stars of the Newscycle: 5.23.06

Three stories to ponder while kicking that dog.
Three
‘Elton’s gay sitcom canned’ Get it?
Two
Schools block MySpace access. Horny AirForce believes this is an infringement on the basic civil liberties of America’s youth.
One
Michael Hayden set for confirmation as new American Idol.

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

The Great Moderator

Torn between his spiritual love of God and his erotic love of pubescent boys, Kenneth Gourlay turned to the Internet.

In 1999, the University of Michigan student kept a “computerized diary” as a way to document his struggle between lives as a man of The Lord and prospective kid toucher. This story is pretty good actually, […]

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Three Stars of the Newscycle: 5.22.06

Here is a painting of a really fucked up scene involving a naked white dude, a shark and a harpoon. I have no idea how they got into this but can only imagine it involved grog and guts.
Three
Suprise bitch! I’m in Iraq!
Two
Suprise bitch! I’m bulletproof!
One
Suprise bitch! I am going to sue the government until […]

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

No, Rape Is Never Cool

The Sopranos is a television show on Home Box Office that revolves around the leader of the New Jersey mob. This season (the sixth) one of Tony Soprano’s captains, Vito Spatafore was outed as a homosexual. In the fifth season, Tony’s daughter Meadow’s boyfriend Finn caught Vito engaging in mouth to penis pleasures with another […]

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Al Gore Stinks

Just shut up. It’s a movie. He’s not the greatest thinker alive, he’s not a brave patriot looking to stick up for the little guy, he’s just another ex-politico looking for another 15 minutes in the lime light.
Kind of like Trishelle from Real World: Las Vegas, consider An Inconveniet Truth Gore’s version of The […]

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Lazy Friday: Kati Rivers Will Never Read This

Kati Rivers says that she won’t read her favorite site (hint: it sucks) until we implement our new design. Calm down Kati, it’s coming, hopefully by this weekend or Monday or Tuesday. Soon, we will all remember the deteriorating wreckage of this MBF layout as a mild improvement over the first one.
We shall overcome […]

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

It’s Almost Embarrassing…

…but Dave Chapelle’s “Black Bush” sketch from the legendary second season of Chapelle’s Show might be the basis for 90% of my initial comments on the issues of the day.
I don’t mean to come off like a rube here but all the articles I read about this gay marriage debate look like this:
But social conservatives […]

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Three Stars of the Newscycle: 5.18.06

Hol-E-Shit
A judge has slapped an ASBO on a woman accused of turning an idyllic community into a “hamlet of horrors”
Jeanne Wilding, a retired financial manager, was accused of being “at war” with at least 15 neighbors in rural West Yorkshire….
She booby trapped plant pots, tipped oil over her neighbor’s drive at night and dumped dead […]

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Down Inno Hole

Wow, we were on such a role there for a second huh? ABC started allowing internet savvy viewers the privilege of watching Sawyer grouse for free on its website, Bittorrent was finally utilized by legitimate business folk and it’s been months since the last pirate download themed arrest. But just when everyone thought that the […]

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Three Stars of the Newscycle: 5.17.06

(Insert snappy joke about Lost)
Three
(Insert snappy joke about Southern homophobes)
Two
(Insert snappy joke about Arsenal losing to Barcelona in the UEFA Champions League final)
One
(Insert snappy joke about how effective this new wall is going to be at keeping immigrants out)

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »