Media Bitchfest

Three Stars of the Newscycle: 3.30.06

March 30th, 2006 by Bitchfest

For those of you who don’t know, our very own sports expert Rachel Oppenheimer suffered quite a medical setback over the last couple of weeks. Thankfully, she is now fully rehabbed and back in the saddle to take on today’s question: what should the punishment be for those pesky Duke lacrosse players who refuse to help authorities in that rape case?

Well?

Get gay raped by Duke (last name redacted). That’s a punishment every one can enjoy!

Firstly, Duke (the guy) is Rachel’s boyfriend, so who knows what the fuck is going on with all that. But if you are having a hard time visualizing this proposed Duke (the guy) on Duke (the team comprised of students from the institution) rape session, here is a starter kit. Yes, that is the real Duke, here is a picture of him and Rachel kissin’.

But Rachel, please leave us with a moral to this story?

Who the fuck plays lacrosse anyways? Assholes. That’s who.

Well played, if you haven’t heard about this, please read below. Also, post any punishments you think are appropriate in the comments.

Three
Deadspin’s take

Two
The Legendary Smoking Gun

One
The Washington Post’s news story

Also, Duke (the guy) is in a band called Mindspin. Here’s their MySpace page, any of our 25 readers who don’t already know him, are advised to take a look.

Posted in Uncategorized

TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply