Media Bitchfest

Three Stars of the Newscycle: 3.31.06

Yo, it’s fucking gorgeous outside! Waddaya say we spend all weekend decoding the randomass blacklight map from Lost? No? Well, what if we leave the windows open to get a breeze in? I’ll take that as a maybe.
Three
Sony’s UMD format for PSP goes the way of Betamax and Laser Disc.
Two
Bush goes to Mexico just as […]

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Well That Makes Sense

I always wondered why he looks so angry all the time.
• 90% of Women in Sheffield say ‘Casual Sex is Immoral’ [BBC]
p.s. the caption for the photo with this story (the Sex in the City sloots) reads: Some say casual sex can be a wonderful adventure. We say, it’s the only adventure we have left.

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Wait Until You See What They Do On ‘Good Friday’

Kids these days, all they want to do is listen to their iPods and date each others moms. Gone is that sense of history, that institutional knowledge of their forefathers’ suffering, struggling and triumph.
But you can’t always blame the schools, they try to teach these kids what from what. For instance, in the sleepy […]

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Three Stars of the Newscycle: 3.30.06

For those of you who don’t know, our very own sports expert Rachel Oppenheimer suffered quite a medical setback over the last couple of weeks. Thankfully, she is now fully rehabbed and back in the saddle to take on today’s question: what should the punishment be for those pesky Duke lacrosse players who refuse to […]

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Reporter Freed, Still Looks Scrumptious In Burqa

Lady Journalist and All Around Pretty Pants Jill Carroll finally resurfaced yesterday after being held hostage by Iraqi militants. Her kidnappers made no statement before or after releasing her to the Sunni run Islamic Party, but likely believe she’s just cute as bug’s ear.
In her first interview since her release, Carroll, who went missing […]

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Three Stars of the Newscycle: 3.29.06

Wha Happened?
Three
Apple the record label beats Apple the computer maker in copyright suit. Apple the fruit still penniless
Two
U.N. demands Iran suspend nuclear program. In response, Iran farts very softly.
One
Bush says War Criminal Charles Taylor could be tried in the Netherlands, provided he shares a house with Saddam Hussein and Slobodan Milosevic’s corpse to find out […]

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King Shit of Fuck Mountain

CNN ran a story today containing the results of a recent survey in which folks were questioned about how frequently they heard and used cuss words. Lots of the people surveyed, it turns out, would like to see words like “Fuck,” and “Twat,” and “Cockwhore” taken out of the clubhouse and put into the snubhouse.

Who […]

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Everything Old Is New Again

Yo, you remember 2002? Man that year was crazy, remember when we went to Afghanistan and bombed the shit out of some places and everyone was happy and playing naked soccer and teaching ladies how to read and stuff. Yeah, and remember the Taliban? Well they’re back now, in a big way. They’ve got this […]

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Three Stars of the Newscycle: 3.28.06

Grieve not for Arrested Development’s likely passing. Instead, remember all the memories we have and picture Gangee perpetually sailing into the horizon on the Queen Mary with the Hot Cops shoveling coal until eternity.
Three
Ehud Olmert wins the job as Israeli PM, good luck with alllll that.
Two
Even Al Qaida thinks Zak Moussaoui is kind of an […]

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Viacom Pokes Facebook

Reportedly spurning an initial offer of $750 million in hopes of bagging up to $2 billion, the private ownership of The Facebook is now actively looking for an old money media company to cough up serious cash for the collegiate networking community. Of course, this comes on the heels of last summer’s MySpace sale to […]

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