Media Bitchfest

Three Stars of the Newscycle: 2.17.06

I wonder who Harry Whittington’s favorite basketball team is?
Three
U.N. you have a problem with that? You know what you should do, you should sanction me. Sanction me with your army. OH! WAIT A MINUTE! YOU DON’T HAVE AN ARMY! I guess that means you need to shut the fuck up, that’s what I’d do if […]

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Here’s a FUCKING ‘Thank You’

Media Bitchfest angrily demands, and some tech site responds. We have the first theorhetical look at the flying car.
First reaction from Rob via Googletalk:
Rob: it looks more like a flying airplane
which is nice

At least it wasn’t another Brokeback reference.
Thanks, Daily Tech.

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Methodology Corner

Pinnacle of listicles, Maxim Magazine has released an ordered compilation of the Top 20 Movie Drinkers. The novelty pick is E.T. at number 9 and the champion is Will Ferrell’s Frank “The Tank” from Old School, with Bluto from Animal House, the McKenzie Brothers from Strange Brew and Coach Butter maker from The Bad News […]

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Piggy Bank

I never thought I’d say this but – BEST GYM TEACHER EVER!
Terence Braxton, PE instructor by trade - brilliant entrepreneur by passion – offered students the opportunity to get out of gym. Pay him one dollar and you’re exempt from one class.
Now I have no problem robbing fat children because, as a fat child, I […]

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New Catagory: Run a FUCKING Photo

Every once in a while we read a story here at Media Bitchfest and we just can’t wrap our head around why, why in this lush, beautiful biosphere of ours, would the writer and editors that cobble together news for a living, not think to bring a camera and publish a picture. This, is one […]

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Three Stars of the Newscycle: 2.16.06

Sure, we only did three posts today, but one had a “read more” link and they were all fucking amazing. Here are three stories that aren’t culled from today’s posts at all.
Three
Bryant Gumbel says that there are so few black people in the Winter Olympics that it looks like a godforsaken GOP convention. Ridiculous race-mongering, […]

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Finally, two become one

God, it was only a matter of time before references to our two favorite movies ever — EVER — merged together in 2 minutes of slippery, quivering ecstacy. Some kid who loves Star Wars and enjoys making people uncomfortable with gratuitous references to hot male-on-male action has created “The Empire Brokeback,” a skillful splicing of […]

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How to Incite Racial Anger Without Really Trying

There’s so much hate in the world today. We have Angry Muslimfest ‘06, Aussie papers are running old Abu Ghraib photos for no reason and Sayid decided to kick the shit out of possible Minnesotan last night on Lost.
Where’s the love?
Well, here on Media Bitcfest, I guess. Right Silly Soldier?

Silly Soldier: Ha ha! You […]

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WOOF! WOOF! I hate you!

Disney’s new live action animal clusterfuck Eight Below comes out tomorrow and thus far the critical reception has been FUCKING INSANE. Here’s why the terrorists will win:

“The family adventure Eight Below is an easy watch, thanks to the splendors of frosty scenery and furry canines.”
– Dennis Harvey, VARIETY

Yes, Dennis, despite the wads of cash […]

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Three Stars of the Newscycle: 2.16.06

People be singing.
Three
Willie Nelson song adds gay cowfolk to the list of Willie Nelson’s Causes currently including biofuels and fiscal responsibility. Willie Nelson is batshit crazy.
Two
Chertoff is all like, “Shit, my bad.”
One
Cheney is all like, “No, really, shit, it’s my bad. Totally.”
Who said this administration never apologizes?*
*when silence is a possible admission of murder

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