Archive for February, 2006
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 2.28.06
Tuesday, February 28th, 2006Curiosity is the watchword today, so let’s rank today’s stars in order of that. Aight?
Three
Prosecution in the Saddam case debuted proof that homeboy approved 100+ Shiite murders, leaving American and Iraqis curious over about that goofy cage/crib thing they have in the court room.
Two
Spy Chief John Negroponte says the port deal is A-OK. I […]
Bitchfest Commentary: Inside the Mind of Michael Ventre
Tuesday, February 28th, 2006Michael Ventre is an awful sports columnist for MSNBC.com. He writes a regular feature called “Trash Talk” which showcases his specific sports musings… with attitude. Here is a running commentary on what Bitchfest believes goes on inside his head while he writes this column, specifically the jokey end portion called “A Game of Pepper”:
Speedskater Chad […]
More Like GladiaBORE! OOOOH! snap.
Tuesday, February 28th, 2006Two Austrian anatomists have unleashed a shocking chunk of science:
…real gladiatorial bouts were officiated by referees.
Thank you, Science, because a) It was about time my ruthless imagined past-life was revealed to have something in common with JV Lacrosse and b) because I didn’t really want that cure for cancer anyway.
In a determined attempt to […]
Newspaper: 3% More Relevant Than TV
Tuesday, February 28th, 2006Some firm of people have released statistics that say most Americans get most of their news from local newspapers despite spirialing circulation and general dicksteppery. Most turn to TV for national news and the internets for reading material about “health, travel and fiestas.”
Also, some people still listen to radio, just not when David Lee Roth […]
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 2.27.06
Monday, February 27th, 2006Words!
Three
Thieves!
Two
Mac!
One
Alive?
New Report: Early Man Was Total Pussy
Monday, February 27th, 2006A book about the behavior of prehistoric man seeks to once and for all shatter the myth of “Man: The Hunter” and replace it with “Man: The Pacifist and Sensible Eater.” Findings conclude that even after stone tools took off like wild fire, they were more for domestic tasks not so you could run off […]
GHB Makes You Look Like Saddam Hussein
Monday, February 27th, 2006And you thought the muslims were pissed about the cartoon thing, wait until you see what Not The Other Guy from Wham! But The Famous One is up to. George Michael was found by a passerby slumped against the wheel of his car parked at a “crazy angle” on one of Britain’s “busiest crossroads.” The […]
Hemophobic Vampire Finds Loophole
Friday, February 24th, 2006I guess the best thing I can say about Alan Patton, an Ohio man who hides out in public restrooms and drinks the urine of adolescent boys, is Points For Creativity!
Investigators said he shuts off the water to the child-level urinal and puts a cup in the bottom.
“He goes back and retrieves the cup and […]
Well Now That You Mention It…
Friday, February 24th, 2006Organ and tissue harvesting is hard work. For instance, a few smutty nosed scamps are in a whole heap of trouble for ripping stuff from corpses (including ‘Masterpiece Theater’ host Alistair Cooke) that would eventually be buried in a Brooklyn funeral home. They forged consent forms, they had a secret operating room and they […]
Three Stars of the Newscycle: 2.23.06
Thursday, February 23rd, 2006See if you can name which top story goes with the picture to the right.
Three
Is it a metaphor depicting the relations between Sunni and Shi’ite Muslims in Iraq?
Two
Is it a new ‘beaver’ that scientists are now saying lived in the Jurassic period?
One
Is it an example of all the painting you can do when you are […]
Archives:
Critical Acclaim:
— Tom Scocca, New York Observer
— J. Michael Robertson, Media Studies Department, University of San Francisco
— Shelly Smith, Comedienne of The Brothel
— Will Leitch, Deadspin.com
— mute_everything, MBF Commenter
