Media Bitchfest

Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s material for the next five years:

August 23rd, 2005 by Bitchfest

I don’t know what we did to deserve it, but Sean Penn has transcribed his June trip to Iran into what I predict will be the most publicized, self-important, name-dropping train wreck in the recorded history of newsprint. This is day two of five for the San Francisco Chronicle but if you are hesitant to commit the time to read it, just check out these delightful gems:

Day One-

Back at the hotel, I went for coffee and scrambled eggs at the downstairs buffet. A canned, Muzak version of “I Will Always Love You” plays. The scene downstairs reminded me of similar scenes in Iraq, at Baghdad’s Al Rashid and Palestine hotels. International journalists with that “What the fuck are you doing here, Mr. Penn?” look on their faces.

Day Two-

I’d been holding a piss through the hours of prayer service. So after I ordered my lunch, I excused myself to the men’s room. “Men’s” was written in Farsi above, and “Manly” in English below. I stepped into the water closet, grateful to just have to piss. If I’d had more serious business there, it would’ve been a squat job with no hook for one’s jacket. Now, that would’ve been manly.

Also that second excerpt is the lede of the story. And there is a fine line between a “What the fuck are you doing here Mr. Penn?” face and an “I have risked my life for years in relative anonymity to cover the events of the middle east for a local American readership, but at least my eggs are not over cooke– Oh fuck it’s Sean Penn” face.

Also, there is a video linked to the story of Sean video taping himself walking through Tehran’s grand bazaar, “keeping a low profile.”

This is simply too much.

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